Lately, I’ve been thinking about how some of the most important choices I’ve made throughout my life have been based on fear. All of us, to some extent, are motivated by fear of losing something you've made a part of yourself, or your identity. The unmistakable pain of loss. I was always in fear of losing people, material things or some part of my identity. This is especially true for some of the emotions I’ve held on to. I was an emotional hoarder. Giving up those feelings was like giving up a part of my identity. And if I was giving up that, then who was I? This is the exact question we need to navigate to and answer for ourselves when we find that we’ve been living with a limited mindset.
Facing Your Fears
Digging deep to find what truly scares you is intimidating. At some point you have to do some self contemplation. Face the things that you fear the most. Take them head on. I know taking this step can seem overwhelming, but it’s an essential part of the path to improving your mindset. The thing I was afraid of the most was being alone. I’m divorced and consequently, I was holding on to feelings of inadequacy. I had an irrational notion that I would die alone and unloved. I decided to stop dating. No online dating sites, nothing, I did nothing but reflect, learn and write. The writing process was cathartic and gave me perspective. I would write daily in a journal and periodically re-read some older entries to see if I had made any mental or emotional progress. I did this for 9 months. I often had deep feelings of abandonment and loneliness. It was difficult but necessary. In that time I faced the biggest fear I had. I was afraid to be alone because I was afraid of who I had become. That time away afforded me a new perspective on how I viewed myself and how I had become a fraction of the person I knew I was capable of being.
After facing my biggest fears, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off of me. I had nothing weighing me down. Now, a year later, I have faced another fear. I recently quit my job to pursue self-employment. This took a great deal of contemplation and trust in myself. I would not have been able to make such a life changing decision had I not went through the dark time of facing my biggest fear of being alone. This opportunity would have gone right by me had I not been in the right mindset. I am so grateful and thankful everyday that I did that for myself. It’s hard to describe the feeling of living life without fear. The warm comfort of releasing fear. Nothing has the power to make you wasted among humanity but the lack of control of your own mind, to leave you fragile, with an inflated victim ego. Let the limits in your mind dissolve, then the fear will have no where to live. If you master this, you can master anything you want.
Fear of Letting Go
Life seems to be fulfilled when your putting things and people in. But what happens if your letting go? There needs to be space for improvement. If you’re holding on to things that no longer serve you, there's no room for the opportunities that will.
Making Fear Based Decisions
You have to get to a place where you’re not basing your decisions in fear or lack but in a place of prosperity and abundance. When you start learning to think in these terms you won’t be afraid of losing something or letting anything go. Your mind will think in terms of what you can accomplish or gain. You’ll be surprised by how opportunities and solutions come faster and easier after you learn to see things from a prosperity perspective.
Take away from this post: You have to make yourself uncomfortable and push past your fears. Don’t let fear control your mind.